When you hear ‘no’

*Side note: Last week, I wrote on twitter and facebook that I was working on a blog post about not giving up – even when you face disappointments. Immediately, I had a dozen comments or emails from my fabulous peers – photographers writing and telling me that this was something that they needed to hear right now. I was blown away by the response I got, and those comments also forced me to follow-through and actually finish writing this post. So, for what it’s worth, I hope that my rambling musings might somehow give you a tiny taste of hope and maybe even a little dose of encouragement today. Hugs, Kimberlee

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When you hear ‘no’… What do you do? Give up? Get discouraged? Get angry? I’ve done all of those things… but I want to encourage you all today to stay focused on your GOALS, not on the no’s. Steady persistence and constant working toward your goals is the BEST way to overcome any disappointments (or, at least, that’s what works for me!). I know Marissa and I tend to be ‘glass half full’ gals – especially here on the blog. It’s WAY easier to share with you about our accomplishments, achievements, and the goals we have met. But I just wanted to take a moment to remind you that we are still human… we are just a couple of gals trying to run a successful business… and sometimes we face a TON of hardships, disappointments, and… we hear the word ‘no’ quite often. The thing that keeps us going, though, is NOT to stay focused too long on those no’s. The no’s do not define us… and so, we continue striving and working toward our goals. Here are just a few examples from the past several years…

*When Marissa dreamed her big dream, and planned this awesome business plan (back when she was still in high school!)… so many people said ‘no.’ She was too young, too inexperienced. Glamour Shots was a long gone trend, a cheesy reminder of the 80s, and anything that resembled boudoir photography would only bring up thoughts of tulle, boas, and cheesiness. Marissa didn’t listen to any of that.

*Back in 2006, when M was first starting the boudoir business, and she asked me to join her. I said ‘no.’ And I am so thankful that she was persistent… so thankful that I finally said ‘yes.’ The past five years have been so amazing… it has been a wild ride, a crazy adventure, and I am so thankful to have a business partner who is also a kindred spirit. And to have a business that impacts women, makes them feel beautiful, and gives them crazy-confidence?! I can’t even express how thankful I am that Marissa didn’t listen to me when I said no.

*When we said we would love to ‘Bring Boudoir Back’, most professional photographers laughed, chuckled, and said ‘yeah right… good luck!’ Five years later, I think it’s safe to say that BOUDOIR IS BACK – and it’s here to stay.

*Then in 2007, when we were launching the Boudoir Divas biz plan (‘full-force’), we told several professional photography organizations that we would love share what we were doing with boudoir, on a platform stage at photography conventions. They said ‘no.’ We didn’t listen. We started smaller, speaking around the US at smaller professional photography organizations. And then in 2008, we were finally given the stage as platform speakers at DWF’s convention in Jan ’09… then again last year, we were incredibly honored and BLOWN AWAY at Imaging USA when over 1600 photographers filled our room to hear us speak.

*In 2008, we wrote to several local wedding magazines, telling them that we had an idea for an article about boudoir photography, and how it would be the next big trend for brides. They ALL said ‘no.’ “Boudoir is an old trend from the 80s, and there’s no way it’s making a comeback,” they said. We did not give up. We continued submitting proposals, images, and articles. In Jan 2009 – we graced the pages of Southern Wedding Style Magazine‘s premier issue! Since then, we’ve been lucky enough to find our images and articles in SO many different online and print magazines… San Diego Style Weddings, Ceremony Magazine, Exquisite Weddings, Grace Ormonde, Brides, Rangefinder, and Professional Photographer. I am so glad that we didn’t give up on our dream. That we didn’t listen to the no’s.

*In 2009, we started sending press packets to local TV stations, telling them that we had a great story for them to feature. When we didn’t hear back, we followed up with an email – and a phone call. And then a few months later, we would do it all over again. They all said no. In fact, one news station even sent our press packet back to us – with a note that said, ‘please stop sending these.’ Haha, so funny. But you know what? We weren’t discouraged. We didn’t give up. We just kept focused on the goal. And, as you probably already know… TWO stations finally (relented) and said yes! We were featured on KUSI’s morning show, and then on Fox 5’s morning show last year! Just one more little example that proves that persistence and not giving up REALLY DOES pay off!

*In 2010, we shot a sizzle reel for a reality show about the Boudoir Divas studio. (Maybe we’ll post the video online sometime, it’s pretty funny!) We traveled to LA, to the Warner Bros lot, for our meetings with our producers… signed with a production company… shot the sizzle reel… then the show was pitched to several different networks. So far, everyone has said ‘no.’ Probably a blessing in disguise, as we have both decided that it’s probably better to not have our personal lives strewn across national television. 🙂

*In 2011, we were hoping to become platform speakers at WPPI. We have been submitting our speaking proposals for four years straight now. Once again, we heard ‘no.’ So, if you’re wondering why we’re not speaking this year – it’s not for lack of trying! 🙂 For a little while there, we were super disappointed… we really thought THIS would be our year to share our hearts and our passion with all of you! But then we lifted our heads up, kept our eyes on all of our other goals, gave each other a high five, and said, NEXT YEAR!

So, I hope that these little examples of our ups and downs, our disappointments and all the times we heard ‘no’ will give you some hope today. No matter what stage you’re at with your business – just starting and not sure what the hell you’re doing… or successful with a blossoming business – I want to encourage you to stay focused on your goals. WRITE YOUR GOALS DOWN – put them up on a board in your office where you can look at them every day. When you hear someone say ‘no’ – don’t get down on yourself. Just look up to your goals on your wall, and keep going. To end this post, I wanted to leave you with a quote from one of my favorite childhood authors:

“Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child, listen to the DON’TS – listen to the SHOULDN’TS, the IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS – listen to the NEVER HAVES. Then listen close to me – anything can happen, child. ANYTHING can be.”
-Shel Silverstein