I didn’t chicken out… #believeinbeauty

Marissa here!

It’s done……….and so therefore I can’t “un-do” it. Because people know it’s been done. And then I would look like I panicked. And for the most part, I am a fairly confident person. So “un-doing” it would ruin that whole idea I have of myself in my head. See my past blog post if you are wondering what the heck I am talking about 😉

So I am a pretty conservative-ish person, and yes I am a boudoir photographer. And I have this thought, if I want to run a boudoir studio that’s known for being the most conservative/private boudoir studio, I can’t be showing my own boudoir pics. Like here I am conservative biz-owner and here’s me in my undies.

Not that I would really want to anyway but just like all our other clients, I have some SERIOUSLY hot ones that impress even me, so once in a while I have gotten excited about the thought of showing a pic of me at my best, a wowzers boudoir pic. But it’s just not in the cards for me. As well as for my personal modesty reason and the afore mentioned reason.

HOWEVER….

For years now we have been wanting to do a BIG and very HONEST before and after piece on a client. But we are always VERY weary of before and afters. Especially posting them on FB etc. (side note, don’t please don’t get me wrong, we TOTALLY see why other studio do them). But our overall fear is that it looks like we are saying, “hey look at this girl who is “beautiful” NOW because of US.” And we worry that this would bring us amazing monetary gain, while perhaps hurting their feeling (sometimes, not always, please don’t think we are bashing other boudoir studios, this OUR reservation). The before and afters we do have of the gals you see on our website or FB are our close friends, and signed up for the task with no reservation. Understanding the scope of how, why and when we would use them.

So back to that project we wanted to do. Like I just explained,  we decided that we couldn’t ask a friend or client to look like total crap in terrible light on video in their skivvies. So in a moment of bravery, and a desire to take charge of my mind (see the video for the full story)…. I did it! Ah!! While I feel very vulnerable expressing my un-confident inner thoughts (and my cellulite) in this way, certainly far from the glamorous ways I once fantasized about showing off a boudoir pic or two, I think that if it can help some other gals overcome the same thoughts I am having, then it serves a purpose.  I try really hard to live honestly, if I am going through things, I share them. I never want to act like I have it all together, leaving others to feel isolated. So here it is…. my current thoughts…. and what I am doing about them…