Is it possible to feel joy and pain at the same time?

We have arrived! After months of planning, weeks of packing, and days of feeling like we just had to be forgetting something major, we are here in Paris. There is so much GOOD to talk about in the next few weeks, but first I have to address something that has rocked our world and grieves us beyond imagining. When we got off the plane in Paris Weston texted us to say we had to call him right away. We learned that our beloved friend, Aaron Rowan, passed away unexpectedly. A friend of mine (Marissa’s) from childhood, Weston’s bandmate and creative musical partner, a spiritual joy to be around, we can’t see why on earth he was taken this morning. Words cannot describe the extreme loss we feel right now. I find myself so rocked with pain that I need to remember that there are others, Weston for example, or Aaron’s sister, who are hurting far more than I am. I need to focus my energy on praying for them instead of wallowing in my own loss.

So here we sit, on the couch in a fabulous Paris flat, conflicted. The golden sun is shining off rooftops across the street, a constant joyful reminder that we are on an amazing adventure with our mothers (which will soon evolve into two workshops and the trip of a lifetime in the coming weeks). The delirium that travel and grief has brought on has also caused us to go into fits of laughter today; using salt in coffee instead of sugar for example. And joy… seeing all the tulips lining the parks, the old couple sitting on the bench holding hands for waaay longer than anyone would in the states, the very french bow-tie-clad professor-ish man across the way smoking his cigar on his very French terrace. I never knew it would be possible to feel joy and pain at the very same time.

I know that Aaron, with his out-of-this-world singing voice, could only have been created by a God who takes delight in such a gift. It has always been my personal opinion based on scripture that God delights in song more than any other beauty. Aaron always seemed like he was too talented for it to be earthly, so I have to believe that tonight Aaron will be singing the most gorgeous song to the King of Kings.

This time with our mothers is too precious right now, and the grieving process has just begun. We have to make the best of our trip as this is a reminder of how short our time is. We will continue to show the good times of this trip through blog posts and videos, obviously editing out the difficult portions of the days. Weston, Noelle, and all of our other friends who considered Aaron a brother, we will be praying for you constantly. How we wish we could be with you all. – Marissa (with Kimberlee and Moms at our side)