If you can’t be personal on your own blog then, really, what’s the point of it anyway? In the past month, I, Marissa, have been challenged in ways that are completely new to me. Among the many major rough patches in the last few months, really nothing compares to the passing of a 15 year dear friend (and bandmate of Weston’s) Aaron, and then a few weeks later, my Grammie. I think Grammie would even give Weston and my Mom a run for their money in her deep love for me, and trust me, to put up with my flighty, dreamer, go for it and sink or swim attitude, they really have to love me. It was like her reservoir of quite love was inhumanly deep. Like that saying, “still waters run deep.” Yea, her love was for sure the perfect parallel to that saying.
And if we are getting really personal I will share a lesson I learned in the past few weeks. Here goes…you can think you’re tough, you can think that you’re getting through it really well because you are able to get your mind off of it, or you aren’t weeping as much as thought you would be. But if you don’t take time to to sit still and process it, you will find yourself in a much more difficult place than if you had just not tried being “Mr. Tough Guy.” Or in my place, “Girl.” It came on in a stronger wave than I ever would have imagined and I am blessed to say that I think the wave has passed. Thank you to friends and family who jumped to support and be near me.
My Grammie was an amazing lady. I try to remind myself that I can’t be too sad that she is gone, because I was so fortunate to have her here for any length of time. I was lucky enough to be able to talk about the Grammie that I lived with for 20 years of my life at her memorial. The Grammie that took incredible care of me when my wonderful, hard-working, single mama had to be making a living. I wanted to keep things a little bit light, knowing that if I got a little too serious I would just lose it and not even be able to speak. Because I feel like these lessons are so important, I wanted to share them with y’all.
20 Life Lessons I Learned From Living with my Incredible Grandma Lalie
20. That loving God and family are the most important things on Earth
19. That adding a few pieces of bacon is the secret ingredient to the best refried beans ever
18. That “spanglish” is a completely acceptable form of communication
17. That Wheel of Fortune was and still is the best show on TV
16. That praying for others is the most powerful gift you can give them
15. That your bible should be the most used possession you own
14. That the love for rocky road ice cream can be passed down genetically
13. That opening presents extremely slowly is really just a way to teach your family members patience
12. That you don’t need to ask a man to open a tightly sealed jar. You pound it with the end of a knife, pull out a crazy contraption that looked like it was from the 40’s, turn with all your might and voila!
11. That I don’t need to seek extravagance, a simple life is the best way to find true joy
10. That I can be content in whatever circumstance I am in
9. That talking on the phone for hours with friends is the best way to spend lazy afternoons
8. That action movies are simply just “que papas”
7. That your favorite Charger player should always be the kicker and you can yell for him really loud even if you are watching the game by yourself
6. That after 50 years of serious loyal commitment, Publishers Clearing House is in fact bogus
5. That nothing leaves a legacy like servitude and self sacrifice
4. That saying “won’t you need a jacket Baby, it’s cold outside” to every family member that leaves your home even if it’s summertime is basically another way to say “I love you and I’m always worrying about you”
3. That one woman can teach a family of 42 people through daily example that “to love your neighbor as yourself” just as Christ said, is entirely possible
2. That home-made tortillas and empanadas can chase away even the worst teenage problems
1. That God will always, always be with us
And in closing I wanted to share a video of Weston’s band. A little fast paced compared to what I shared above but I just couldn’t talk about Gram and not mention Aaron. Then in the next video is Aaron just improvising a song for the camera. A-hog, we miss you so much. Your love and talent will never be forgotten.
I love this post, so special 🙂
<3 this post! Loved your Grandma too! Always enjoyed seeing her at church and chatting with her in the childrens ministry. She's is deeply missed.
I am deeply sorry for your loss and I can relate, even though every situation and every loss is so special. I had the best grandma as well, she passed away two years ago and it was incredibly tough to live with the fact. Not only that, but my dad passed away three days prior to the Paris workshop and it was tough (but also so rewarding on a different level) to go and live my life and not being at home with my family. You are so right, when you say, that you need time for mourning and for yourself, because it will be worse if you don’t take this time. I didn’t have time for myself right away, because I had to organize the funeral etc., go to Paris to meet you guys… Just the last week I really had time to think about (and feel!!!) what happened and that it is an incredible loss that I experienced.
I am glad that you have friends and family who supports you in this rough time and I hope that you will be able to always cherish the time you had with your grandma. All the best to you!
I was in tears. Thinking of you and rooting for you guys.
Thank you so much for sharing this message. When I lost my dad 2 years ago I had never thought I was the type of person who holds things in, but at that time I was…and boy did it hit hard! The deeper the love the deeper the loss, but it’s all worth it. I can tell you had a special relationship with your Grammie that you will always hold in your heart. I’ve blogged a little about my dad, too. It’s kind of like “cheap therapy”! 🙂
And I LOVE the 20 life lessons!
Wow, Marissa…that’s an unbearable amount of grief for anyone to be able to handle. I applaud you for being such a strong woman through difficult times and am of course, very, very sorry to hear about your loss(es).
Thank you so much for sharing your life lessons learned from your grandmother. I too lost mine a couple of years back and know how important it is to hold on to their words of wisdom. She will stay with you forever that way.
Marissa thank you for sharing your journey…in the last few days I had to support my brother in burying his 11 1/2 month daughter…this little girl stirred a love inside me that I could not understand and tomorrow I will celebrate my sons 13th birthday, had he lived…Our journey through grief is a strange one…sadness, anger, tears, joy, laughter, tears…a cycle that must be completed if we are to move on…Yet afterwards we look @ how those that have passed on impacts our life and it keeps their spirit alive with us…I have met you shortly and i see how you share on this blog and I know that your gammi has a awesome grandaughter & Aaron has a awesome friend..by the way my son(deceased) is name Aarron…I pray your journey continues in peace….
OH Marissa, thanks for sharing this and that is what blogs are for, sharing in all sides of life. I just wanted to share a song with you and maybe you already know it but Matthew West wrote a great song called Save a place for me and dedicated it to his Gram, I hope you have achance to listen to it as it is such a great song for believers to listen to. I hope someday we get to meet as you are very inspiring to me daily.
Marissa, this is a very touching post! Looks like your grammie taught you well ;0) Keep on smiling and being your wonderful self!
Thank you so much for the encouragement guys! It always means a lot when someone takes the time to comment. And not just comment but empathize. Anne it was so amazing that you came to Paris still, you are brave girl. Lynette I am sorry that you have had to deal with such sorrow this past week. Natalie I will check out that song for sure. Anya is that my bride Anya? You are always such an encouraging little sweetheart.
Your grammie sounds like an amazing woman. Thanks for sharing.